Tag: visual white noise theater

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Visual White Noise Theater: Climb to the top of the “Holy Mountain” (1973).

When first viewing Alejandro Jodorowsky’s “Holy Mountain” I thought to myself “What is this pretentious hippie horse shit?” If thirty minutes in I was looking at the clock or the edge of my couch I was gonna shut the thing off and rewatch Jodorowsky’s “Santa Sangre” instead. But I gave it a chance and boy am I glad I did.

Through out this movie I was mentally spanked and sent to bed without my dinner, while some of it did have me rolling my eyes at the goofy flower child stuff, the more visceral and antagonizing scenes made me sit up and take notice. Jodorowsky balances the profane with the holy, and the ugly with the beautiful perfectly well. The movie is rife with alchemical, occult, tarot, and religious symbols. Some of it highly offensive to certain people. Pretty much it is the journey of a Christ like “Fool” of the tarot deck along with a limbless dwarf which is the “Five of Swords”. What ensues is crazy: temple prostitutes dressed like nuns topless and one looks like a ten year old girl, flayed animals on crucifixes, a historical reenactment of the destruction of the Aztecs by the Conquistadors done by iguanas and lizards dressed in miniature armor, a transvestite nun and his fat guards dressed like ancient Roman soldiers make a Christ cast of the Fool’s body, men in gas masks and guns having sex with tourist women etc.  I could go on and on.

 The Fool comes to a tower where gold is lowered down to the crowd. The Fool ascends the tower to find out the source of the gold and comes across an alchemist and his assistant who live down a rainbow tunnel. Various giant cards surround him, all of them a reinterpretation of tarot, the Fool shits in a globe and the alchemist transforms it into gold, the movie in this particular scene pretty much beats the viewer over the head with a hammer: “You are shit you can be turned into gold.” The alchemist starts the Fool on a journey to become immortal along with seven different manufacturers of various industries who represent the planets, one manufactures weapons, one cosmetics etc. who wish to become immortal, to do that they have to go to Lotus Island, climb the Holy Mountain and kill the nine immortal masters to learn their secret.

The characters go through various alchemical rituals that change them. I am not a guy who likes to spoil anything but the ending will either have you snorting in derision or making you think. Yes its pretentious, hippie horse shit, but its interesting, pretentious hippie horse shit. I wouldn’t watch this every year, there is certain scenes in this thing that should be put in a physical frame because of how interesting or beautiful they are. This visual white noise might piss you off depending on who you are, some will absolutely love it and be inspired by it, people like Peter Gabriel, Cedric and Omar from Mars Volta, Brann Dailor of Mastodon etc. were inspired by this movie in their various artistic endeavors. Don’t let the fact that Yoko Ono put up money for the production dissuade you from watching this. Like I said this isn’t for everybody, you might very well be picking at the thread of your pants and having a better time doing it than watching this. You’ve been warned.

So where do you start the climb? Well you can start climbing here:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.a4ba06a8-3193-110b-09f7-12392ed42ce7/ref=dv_web_auth_no_re_sig/147-2034334-7009322?ie=UTF8&autoplay=1&

Good luck finding an affordable dvd/blu ray that is one Holy Mountain your gonna have to climb yourself.

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Visual White Noise Theater: Re “Possessor” (2020) of bodies.

Identity Crisis. Confusion. Body Changes. Mind Melding. Sounds like a Cronenberg flick, and you’d be right about that except this is a different Cronenberg, this is sonny boy Cronenberg who is a chip off the old block. Brandon takes after his old man in all the right ways, I am very picky about new and modern films. I rely heavily on people, and web sites I trust who have the same tastes as me to point me in the right direction. I am not a movie snob who only watches flicks from 1910’s to the early 1990’s (well that is mostly what I watch but take from that what you will) There is still good films and film makers out there, you just have to search them out. “Possessor” proves that beyond a reasonable doubt, I rarely post negative articles about things because if it wastes my time I don’t in turn want to waste yours. Money you can get back, time you can’t unless you have a time machine that can make you younger and take you back in time, if you have something like that drop me a line. Anyways I am going off on a tangent here, maybe a “Possessor” has taken over my body, that would be a good excuse for some of the shit I write on here.

Andrea Riseborough (who played Mandy in “Mandy”) plays Tasya Vos who works for a shadowy agency whose clients hire them to take over the minds of certain people who get forced mind implants for various reasons, and then the person with the implant is made to commit suicide by the person who takes over their mind via a machine. This all smacks of “Videodrome” to me. Problem is, as the assassin takes over different minds the assassin starts to lose their bearing in their own body and their own reality starts to deteriorate. Tasya Vos’ handler, Girder (played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, if you don’t know who she is you should have your head examined) is concerned about Tasya’s attachment to her family and  slow mental deterioration. Despite this she agrees to take a job killing a CEO, John Parse (played by Sean Bean, again you know who he is don’t bullshit me, he’s been in everything) by taking over the boyfriend of his daughter. I am just gonna leave it there. Things go shit whack crazy really fast, your gonna be mind fucked so hard you won’t be able to think straight for a week. It will call into question your perception of yourself, reality and the universe, yeah that was pretentious and yeah I typed that. I can be pretentious sometimes too. Anyways, I recommend this one, this one is relatively new, Brandon did one other movie before this that I want to check out called “Antiviral” about people who buy the viruses of famous people and get infected by the disease their heroes were infected by. Again “Antiviral” seems to play with different identities.

 

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. I’d highly recommend it, Brandon isn’t completely like his dad but he is very close to the good things. Can’t wait to see what else this guy has in store for the future.

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Visual White Noise Theater: Happy “New Year’s Evil”!!!

Well, everybody is saying that 2021 will be better than 2020, yeah uh I’ll believe it when I see it. Anyways, this bit of visual white noise will at least put you off to a good start, “New Years Evil”!

Yeah yeah this is your typical early 1980’s slasher, a guy gets pissed that every woman, including his wife, are being “bitches” and starts taking them out. He had a traumatic experience when he was younger and he was put into an insane asylum. Again a typical slasher, except this slasher has New Wave music, the New Year’s event is hosted by Diane Sullivan (played by Roz Kelly) whose son and husband, Richard Sullivan (played by character actor Kip Niven) are pissed at her. The Shadows and Made in Japan play at the New Years event, where a guy with a voice modulator calls into the radio request line saying he is gonna kill a person in each time zone as the year changes over.

The police race to stop him, you start wondering if the son and/or the husband is doing the crimes to get revenge on her. Not many horror films take place around New Years Eve, the other ones I can think of off the top of my head are, “Bloody New Years” and “Terror Train” all nutso entries. For a slasher film it has little nudity, most slasher films you can expect flopping tits and voluminous southern carpets. Not so in this one, you can see the top of the tit of one of the chicks in the car smoking a joint while her boyfriend feels her up.

This…

Leads to this…

So is this worth your attention? Yep. Not the best out of the roster of early 1980’s slasher films, but its still a 80’s slasher film and that is better than most of the shit that passes for “horror” these days. Another thing, it was put out by independent, 1980’s exploitation machine, Cannon, which means this bit of noise takes no prisoners and reigns in the New Year in style. “New Year’s Evil” played at Quentin Tarantino’s New Beverly Cinema in LA on December 29th, 2018 which says a lot, and I am not a fan of everything Quentin does. Well its New Years Day as I write this, if you want a New Years movie watch it here (hate youtube but you can watch it here): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMzXP6Scndo

To all who read this, hope the next year is better for you and everybody else.

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Visual White Noise Theater: Nazi “Elves” (1989) will ruin your Christmas. Boo hoo hoo.

Incest. Fried MILFS. Nazi Elves. A drunk Santa. Yep you got a family holiday movie, so gather around children, its time to enter the yuletide joy that is “Elves”. Some girls do a anti Christmas, Pagan ritual in the forest, one of the chicks cuts herself thus summoning an evil Nazi Elf who wants to breed with her because she is pure and he wants to take over the world, not if drunk Mall Santa, Dan Haggerty, has anything to say about it.

Exhibiting the acting prowess of a tree, Dan Haggerty of “Grizzly Adams” fame, plays a former detective turned drunk mall Santa who takes on neo nazi agents and the forces of evil “Elves” in league with them. What to say about this movie… Well I couldn’t find much on it at all, “critics” seem to abhor this movie but to me “critics” are butthurt because almost all of them are failed movie makers and writers that sit and criticize others who actually go out and take a chance making these insane pieces of art. The Siskel and Ebert types only like uppity, boring and tepid crap so I don’t take seriously anything they say. I am the only critic I trust, I know that I sound hypocritical because my blog is a bit of a critic type thing, difference is I won’t review things that waste my time or yours. If something sucks so bad I feel like I wanted to slash my wrists consuming it, I won’t share it here.

This movie is sleazy, I mean it just drips off the screen, its dirty and it isn’t nice. A kid spies on his sister taking a shower and when she catches him he tells her he likes looking at her big tits, teenage throats get slashed, heads get shot by Nazi agents, an Elf attempts rape, the same Elf drops a toaster into the bath tub of the well endowed mother of the main character (the mother is played by Deanna Lund of “Land of Giants” fame, the grandfather in this movie had sex with his own daughter to create a girl of pure blood that the Elf could rape to spawn a race that would take over the world etc.) You know the usual stuff that happens on Christmas.

Apparently the movie had a limited theatrical release and was released later on VHS in 1994. This was a surprise, I literally thought that this was a direct to video affair, the version I have has a trailer for another movie “Alien Seed” aka “Alien Abortionist” that stars Eric Estrada, which I will review later, which was put out by the same company, AIP, who put out “Elves”, this AIP is not Roger Corman’s “American International Pictures” but “Action International Pictures” the name is a shameless rip off to get people to think that Corman put this stuff out. Of course I could see Corman putting something like this out.

Dan Haggerty seems to play the same character in everything I have seen him in. Doesn’t bother me, in fact, I light up whenever I see his name on anything. Normally, Dan makes movies my grandpa would like, except for “Elves” all grandpas will hate that one. But they’ll like Haggerty’s other work like “Repo Jake” and “One Man War”, a little skin, cars exploding and guns killing people. “Elves” goes too far into weirdo territory with magic gems that kill evil Nazi Elves, and daughters fucking their dads, though there is people who get shot in the face and there is a car that explodes with Dan rolling out of it (more like his stunt man).

Every Christmas holiday I watch this thing. I look forward to it, it turns the whole “horror Christmas” thing on its head, instead of having a lunatic Santa running around chopping up teenagers because he saw his mom fucking his dad dressed as Santa as a kid, you have a ex detective who got fired from the force for being a drunk becoming a mall Santa and kicking Nazi Elf ass. There is no official release of this nor do I think it will ever get one, its so sleazy and so filthy I love weird stuff like this. I wasn’t bored one god damn minute and you won’t be either. Every scene is a jaw dropper. “Elves” drop kicks Christmas into oblivion.

So if your bored of the usual Christmas fare I say turn yourself onto this, just clean up after your done, Jesus, what do you think this is? One of those porn booths you do your nasty business in and leave the mess for the janitor with the fake leg to clean up? Oh and Merry Christmas motherfuckers. Here is Noisepuncher’s present for you, hope it uploaded properly and this version has the “Alien Seed” aka “Alien Abortionist” trailer, something to look forward to: https://www.bitchute.com/video/8E7XwisYQ0xR/

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Visual White Noise Theater: Take the unholy Sacrament…”Religion Sauvage” (2004)

Did your blotter acid go bad? Does your stomach not like shrooms? Are you still pissed at your parents for making you go to church instead of playing video games on Sunday? Are you fucking sick of these questions? I am and here is the white noise remedy.

“Hopital Brut” only kicked you in the head, “Religion Sauvage” breaks your nose and kicks you in the nuts so hard they go up into your throat. The French art collective, Le Dernier Cri, put together another collection of animated shorts based on another one of their comics “Religion Sauvage”, which is critical of religious belief, that not only includes Jesus, Satan, Allah, Krishna etc. It also includes being critical of people who worship sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, like Gods.

Featuring underground artists from around the world doing animated shorts like on “Hopital Brut” people like Mike Diana, Stu Mead, Tochka, Melted Men, Valium etc. this smorgasbord of degeneracy will make your head spin and your mouth water. Most of these artists don’t ever do animation, they do paintings, comics, and drawings. This collection rapes you, cuts off your head and has sex with it and it isn’t pleasant.

This is “Liquid Television” for adults, and “Liquid Television” was made for adults!!! There is piss, shit, sex, useless violence, dumb racism, sacrilege, Lolita complexes etc. This will piss off every person of every stripe. This white noise doesn’t give one fuck about your sensibilities or feels. “Religion Sauvage” cuts your feels into tiny, bloody pieces, devours them and shits them out. The gif above was taken from the Stu Mead segment, Stu normally paints and draws and this is one of his paintings put into animation, the dude has been crippled from the day he was born and has a Lolita Complex, his short is like something from a 1920’s stop motion film made by the people who manufacture nightmares.

Like “Hopital Brut”, “Sauvage” will make your heart race and make you confused, beware, this visual noise can be disorienting, and I am telling you drug heads out there right now, DO NOT DO ANYTHING WATCHING THIS. Seriously, I don’t do substances like that anymore (only caffeine) and I can tell you watching this on anything will be really unpleasant.

Some shorts will make you laugh, some will make you angry, some will make you want to scour your eyes out with a Brillo pad, some will make you cry and some will make you break the device your watching “Religion Sauvage” on. These are all good things when any piece of art will make you feel that way. Do I agree with the message? I don’t talk politics or religion on my blog unless its part of the content of the piece of noise I am reviewing. So yeah none of your damn business, I could be a frothing at the mouth atheist who thinks all the digs at religion are great or I could be a closet Jesus Freak who bristles at the content but loves the art. But I am not telling you which one I am.

With this collection you get every variety of animation: Stop motion, regular cell animation, claymation etc. as well as live action segments, all meant to provoke. This thing spits in your face and wants you to punch back hard, it provokes but it also makes things interesting. Two hours is the run time of this thing and I wasn’t bored for one second, my jaw was on the floor for almost all of its running time. Again, like “Hopital Brut” which I reviewed prior (review of “Hopital Brut” and link to watch it here https://www.noisepuncher.net/2020/11/29/short-s-hit-list-hospital-brut-1999/), it sometimes gets into “pretentious up its ass” art snob territory but than it pulls itself back from precipice of art student assholery.

The nightmare logic of this collection drifts in and out of beauty, ugliness, hilarity, brutality and the unbelievable. This is one of these collections that if I drifted off to sleep during watching it and woke up I’d wondered if I’d actually dreamed or actually saw it on this compilation. Is that a plus for this visual noise? Maybe, depends on you as a person. I found this on a external hard drive my buddy gave me of weird short films, holy shit, isn’t the right word.

So should you dive headlong into this visual noise? Will you drown in it? Will you drink it up and have your tastes satisfied? Or will you spit it out in disgust? This thing isn’t for the squeamish, watch at your own risk.

To watch this go to:https://www.bitchute.com/video/kkgzSpSyJIKB/

There is physical copies with artwork and I urge you to actually support this art collective Le Dernier Cri and buy a copy, I am and they actually have one more hour of footage on the DVD version:http://www.lederniercri.org/prod/sauvages-religions-820,4.html

My review on “Hopital Brut” and where to watch it:https://www.noisepuncher.net/2020/11/29/short-s-hit-list-hospital-brut-1999/

BEWARE!!! OFFENSE AHEAD!!!

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Visual White Noise Theater: Wanna play…”Possum” (2018)?

We’ve all had that crazy uncle, you know the one that tells bad jokes when he is drunk, gives you noogies, gives you a nickel by pretending to pull one from behind your ear, the one that verbally and psychologically abuses you and spanks your bare…what?! Yes that one.

The atmosphere of this visual white noise is cold, wet, dark and dreary, it seeps into your bones and settles there for a very long time. I am really weary of watching modern horror movies, I am fucking sick of re makes, cheap jump scares, too clean of a picture, overuse of CGI etc., you know, fucking shit like “Annabelle” and “Insidious”. I want more in my horror movies, “Possum” delivers a knock out punch. Its pretty much a two man show between actors Sean Harris and character actor Alun Armstrong (who you’ve seen in almost everything). Sean plays Philip who is puppeteer that got fired from a kid’s show and he lives with his uncle (Alun) and has lived with him for years after his parents died. The acting from both is superb, from Sean the hurt and constant confusion in his eyes and from Alun a bully who mainly uses psychology and verbal attacks that inflict more abuse than anything physical.

They are both puppeteers and puppet makers, Philip has a spider puppet with a human head he calls “Possum” that goes missing for periods of time and comes back, Philip tries getting rid of it, dumping it in the forest, burning it etc. It keeps coming back, meanwhile, a local boy who got off the same train as Philip goes missing and the community suspects Philip. His uncle needles him about it and rubs it in accusing him of the disappearance of the boy.

Written and directed by Matthew Holness the guy who wrote, directed and acted in the great “Garth Marenghi’s Dark Place” TV show, the movie is based on one of his short stories. This movie is more of a psychological horror movie. The puppets are reflections of puppeteers and their psyches, there is other characters in the movie but their really minor to the two main characters. Holness has said his inspirations for the film were old British Public Information films, George Romero’s “Martin” and German expressionist films, all those influences can be seen in this thing. The dark and dreary atmosphere is also its own character in the movie, the house they live in is dirty but it isn’t cluttered, books and papers sit neatly in stacks which, for some reason unnerved me even more, it was as if the uncle was trying to mask his insanity behind the clutter being orderly but you could still see it was clutter, the uncle presented himself as sane but he was anything but. I don’t want to spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it.

So where does one play “Possum”? Well, for one if you have amazon prime you can watch it there, there is also other “Pirates in the ocean” that can help you if you get my drift. I’d say reward the creator by buying his movie. This movie shows there is still a lot of good horror movies out there, you just have to know where to look. Wanna play “Possum”?

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Visual White Noise Theater: “Haunted School/Gakko No Kaidan” (1995)

So you go into the abandoned wing of your Japanese school, you hear strange knocks and howls. What do you do next? So do you turn around and walk out the door, turn to page 15 or do you go and investigate the strange noises, turn to page 63. If it were me I would turn to page 15 but none of these kids will do this.

So first the sister of one of the characters goes into the abandoned wing and becomes lost, her brother comes looking for her and some of the bad kids are in there where their not supposed to be because that is what bad movie kids do. Their teacher comes looking for them and all hell breaks, a giant girl chases them, a hairy demon with Slimer’s personality makes fun of them, skeletons, and dissected frogs jump at them.

This is a kid’s movie, make no mistake about it. One of my friends called it a cross between “Ghostbusters” and “Goonies”, of course I’d say its more of a “Goosebumps” type tale, the effects, ghosts and monsters were top notch. Damn I really enjoyed this movie, most kids movies I have watched are boring and too sentimental, this one balances the horror with sentiment perfectly.

The movie was done by Toho, the giants who helped push Godzilla into our collective consciousness. This will stomp around in your head like that overgrown lizard. You can watch this with your kids if your kids don’t get bored with sub titles. There was moments that made me laugh, made me sad, made me jump and made me roll my eyes, the eye rolling was kept to a minimum. Apparently this made a lot of yen at the Japanese box office back in the day, 2.55 billion to be exact which is 19 mill in US today’s money.

So in closing to find this baby on DVD you’ll have to go to Japanese amazon and ebay. If you don’t want to go through the trouble, go here:  https://www.bitchute.com/video/USaoF3K4mhrb/

Good luck and don’t go into any abandoned school wings where a girl drowned in a pool or else you’ll get eaten by oversized janitor man insects.

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Visual White Noise Theater: “Das Buch Der Blutigen Geschichten” translated “The Book of Bloody Stories” aka “Bloody Curse” 1987-1991

Alright folks, time to choke some German sausage down (that didn’t sound gay) made of Han Solo figurines, Barbie Dolls, black laser shooting zombies, drooling demons, burnt action figures and tons of red corn syrup. Sure some will say its bad for you but it tastes great going down and will most likely give you a heart attack.

Directed by Michael Kahlert and made over the span of 1987-1991 this is stop motion mayhem, a German gore movie made with figurines and miniature castles, its like a demented German kid decided to make a stop motion movie destroying his own figurines. I enjoyed every damn minute of it too.

I found out about this insane turkey reading about it in “Bleeding Skull”. Joseph Ziemba put it in one of his “Best of..” lists of 2013. So I set out to find yet another needle in a haystack. I am one of these people that loses sleep over stupid shit like obscure movies, books, music etc. I don’t lose sleep over politics, money, work etc. which shows you where my priorities are. The title “The Book of Bloody Stories” wasn’t popping up, even with its German title in any search engine. So in desperation I hit up Joe not expecting any response. He responded.

Zombie black laser attack!!!

Joe directed me to a web site called “Video Screams” and it was under the “The Bloody Curse”. That was one cool dude, normally when I ask people where I can find something I get no response or snark. Joe was very helpful, “Video Screams” is pretty awesome, they have a lot of stuff you aren’t gonna find elsewhere. Check them out and they have a search function on their web site. I’ll post the link at the end of this post.

Manikin head destroyed!!!

There is no spoken word dialogue any dialogue is shown with cards in German, no translation. I know a little German and the plot goes something like there is a cursed castle in Northern England called Gortswill where the owner lured two students into the basement and killed them. Apparently Satan built Gortswill and haunts it, numerous people have gone into Gortswill stop the evil only to be chopped up, burned up, decapitated or eaten by Godzilla demons. Background music is cheesy Casio synths and Library classical music.

Ka Pow!!!

So is this worth your time? Is it worth the money? Will it make you angry at me? All three will be answered with “yes”. I loved this world, it was like a train wreck, I couldn’t look away and you won’t be able to either. Some of you might fall asleep to this, some of you might sigh really deep and roll your eyes, some will smash their dvd/blu ray player to pieces, some will cream their pants. I did. Scroll down to “Bloody Curse” in the Extreme horror/gore section, get it…http://www.videoscreams.com/CONSOLIDATED%20MINI%20CATALOGUE%202013.htm

Joseph Ziemba 2013 Exquisites list with”Das Buch der Blutigen Geschichten” translated as “Book of Bloody Stories”. http://bleedingskull.com/exquisites-2013-josephs-films-of-the-year/

In closing this bit of white noise for the eyes is one hour fifteen minutes of stop motion insanity made over a period of four years and that is admirable. Stop motion requires a ton of patience, I know, me and my buddy had to make a stop motion movie for our grade in the elective class at my Junior high. Five minutes was how long our movie was and it was torture, I can’t imagine doing one that lasts an hour and fifteen.