Fucked up, modulated vocals. Check. Stupid, creepy, juvenile lyrics. Check. Cheesy synths. Check. Trombone solos. Check. Fat druggy metal chords. Check. Violins. Check. INSANITY. uh, check. All packed in a cardboard stock case with booklet full of retro porn and the band members in Gestapo get ups, you know your in for a offensive, rippin’ n’ roarin’ good time.
Huge fan of this band and I am planning on doing a review of all of their other albums. Of course I like bands that are weird and demented, it is one of my biggest criteria for checking out a band. The Fuckemos are from Austin, Texas the same breeding ground that spawned the Dicks, the awesome Butthole Surfers, Roky Erickson etc. The band started with the moniker “Warthog 2001UK” after a security guard pissed off the one of the founders of the band, Russell Porter, at a club called Emos, he changed the band name to “Fuckemos” of course this name was prophetic since everybody fucking hates emos.
San Francisco poster artist, Frank Kozik, became interested and signed them to his record label, “Man’s Ruin Records” and released their first album. Their follow up, which I am posting up here, was put out on another poster artist, Lidnsay Kuhn’s record label “No Lie Records”. Why I am posting this is because this the CD version, the new downloadable and vinyl versions differ I will get into that later. I got into this band by listening to their first album, it both blew my mind and made me laugh hard. The pitch shifted, tone deaf vocals, the silly trombone solos, the cheesy Casio keyboard tones, offensive lyrics, and fat guitar chords made me want to find out more. Which lead me to try to find this album.
Finding this was a pain in the ass, this was years ago when Fuckemos hadn’t put up their bandcamp page and there was no plans to release this. Every time I’d travel I’d go to the local used music shops to find this thing, couldn’t find it anywhere until I asked a guy at a record store in Portland if he had this anywhere. He had it in back, I was overjoyed and as soon as I got in my car I put it on. The music washed over me like stale beer and bad pot. “AMEN!!!” I yelled. Another needle found in the haystack.
The CD came in a plastic sleeve with a cardboard stock fold out cover pictures of which I posted, when unfolding it you have to be careful because the CD will pop out, it isn’t a CD R, its a actual, manufactured CD, the booklet is printing stock which I am also posting. The new vinyl and download versions don’t have the cool cover tunes on them probably due to copy right issues which is a damn shame because their fucking hilarious and well done.
The first song “Ed the Creep” is about one of the founders of the band, Ed Rancourt, the first track is full sludge metal chords and “the down in the dumps pitch shifted” vocals their famous for. “Hurtin” features pop punk chord progressions and a silly trombone floating through it. “Lingerie Dreams” is a song built on a steady drum beat and piping synth set to creepy lyrics. “Tokyo” I know for a fact is cover, I’ve heard this one before somewhere, maybe I am wrong, but this song is straight ahead metal and so are the lyrics, pedal to the fucking metal, this is one track I put on repeat.
“Ready to Drop” is a stoned out, grooved out song about getting a chick pregnant (at least I think it is) those pitch shifted vocals. HA! HA! HA! They make the fucking song. The band takes on Abba’s “Dancin’ Queen” stoner metal style, they make the song pathetic and depressing as opposed to being upbeat and poppy. “Be Nice Don’t Be Mean” is a song about the band being mean to the venues that host them and the fans that show up to their shows, this one has me in stitches every time I hear it, the vocals, the keyboard and the trombone are the only instruments on this track. “Sometimes we make the sound guy mad, sometimes that makes us really sad.” It is a mournful tune that is done in a different style and faster on the self titled follow up, I like the version on this CD better. 
“Pro Choice (Life is Murder)” would be a Weezer song if the lead singer had pitch shifted vocals and sang about wanting people dead. “Vietnambla” is thick chord metal stomp in your face about…the underage, if you haven’t figured that out yet by the title I can’t help you. “Mexico” is mournful and dusty dirge, thick and slow chords, slow drums pattering and a crying violin, I love this song and I can get deep into it, one of the reasons I love this band, these guys are geniuses.
“Speedo” is a scum metal screed about gay clubs that only let men in who wear speedos. The lyrics are offensive, juvenile and stupid… in other words good. “Print Your Own Damn Album Covers” is a song consisting of screaming, no vocals, grunting and a galloping, sludgy metal breakdown, I guess this is the way the lead singer felt when he went to Kinkos and asked if they would print the covers for him and they told him no, he’d have to do it himself. “Toby the Neuter” is song about a person born without sex organs that starts with trombone, squealing guitar and synth then degenerates into metal punk sludge insanity. “Wet My Beddy Boo Boo” goes straight into hair metal guitar territory with the lyrics consisting of a tough guy talking about how bad ass he is and then…talking about wetting his bed. “Love is Like Oxygen” is a cover song from classic glam band Sweet, with a wailing synth behind slow dirgy chords, love this cover, too bad none of these are on the newer releases. “Pretty Flowers” has a strange wailing and thin guitar backing it which gives the song a hypnotic quality, that hypnosis is snapped by the weird lyrics and the tone deaf, modulated vocals. Hell yes. “Fuckemos Smoke Cigarettes” is a song made up of cut up, weird electronic sounds and pieces of the other songs stitched together, probably meant to be a song for the ravers of 1995…if retards held raves. “Lucifer” is a song consisting of not only the vocals but the guitars being fed through a manipulator that sounds as if bees are buzzing around your ears, the song is played slow, it is a creepy stoner metal song, the “creepy” that will make you laugh, like those kids who try to dress up creepy and edgy but end up looking goofy. “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” is a cover of the infamous song by deathrock giants, Bauhaus, played faster and with thicker chords, despite this they keep the creepy vibe going. We end with “Three Wine Colors” a live recording by the sound of it, a straight ahead punk song without pitch shifted vocals, my least favorite song. Over all, this is one you should search out, especially the Fuckemos fanatics out there. The vinyl and download releases don’t have the covers and leave out some tracks. I’ll leave links to them but be warned.
To listen to the whole 1995 CD go here: https://www.bitchute.com/video/82llc8WdIz05/
A couple of copies of the 1995 CD from overseas on discogs: https://www.discogs.com/Fuckemos-Lifestyles/release/4348715
Fuckemos bandcamp page with the album minus cover songs, except for “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”: https://fuckemos.bandcamp.com/album/lifestyles-of-the-drugged-and-homeless
Get LP without cover and other tracks: https://www.sloperecords.com/shop/vinyl/fuckemos-lifestyles-of-the-drugged-and-homeless/
Audio white noise to batter your ears and scatter your brains. Go out, go forth, and get fucked by the Fuckemos.