Tag: cult film

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Visual White Noise Theater: Go ahead “Let the Corpses Tan” (2017)

Wow oh wow. If this had been made in the 1960’s/1970’s and not 2017 nobody would’ve known the difference. This is what would happen if you threw Spaghetti Westerns, Euro Sleaze, up your ass art films and Poliziotteschi films in a blender, this is what would result. With a soundtrack that sounds straight Morricone, bright colored titles and sequences, this could’ve been a lost Leone film if it was made by Belgians instead of Italians. Three Criminals, one sex addict, two cops, two ladies with a child, a failed novelist, a grifting lawyer all shoot at and plot against each other over stolen gold, all of this taking place in a old mission type church where the sex addict MILF who seems to own it runs an artist commune. One of the criminals looks like a French Charles Bronson minus the mustache, and another is a craggy, rough looking guy, Bernie Bonvoisin, that in real life fronts a French heavy metal band that sounds like AC/DC called “Trust” which has been around forever. There is nudity, blood gushing, liquid gold thrown on people, insane edit cuts, leather gloves and leather jackets.

The movie is based on a novel “Laissez Bronzer Les Cadavres” by Jean-Patrick Manchette and Jean Pierre Bastid, Manchette is credited with reviving the crime novel in France in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Sometimes this movie can drag, especially with the arty sequences, sometimes it can be confusing. Some events take place in the past with one of the characters remembering things from when he was young and his youthful indiscretions with what I assume is the sex addict MILF art commune leader. It also shows the same events from the different points of view of the different characters which I thought was pretty cool. Some people might go “What the fuck is going on?” And I wouldn’t blame them one bit either.

The twin subjects of lust and greed come up often, and seem to be the main points of the movie. All of this happens over gold. Gold is evil. Which to me is kind of a simplistic point to make in a movie, but it tries to go deeper than that but it doesn’t try enough. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t preachy, if it was I wouldn’t waste my time or yours writing a review on this movie. Again this blog is about things I find interesting or cool I want to share with everybody else, I’ll never waste your time with boring, puerile noise. “Let the Corpses Tan” is not completely boring and it isn’t puerile. Its fascinating how they took the old Poliziotteschi formula and breathed new life into it. This movie doesn’t tell you what time period this takes place in because it could take place any time but it seems the absence of cell phones in the movie dates this back to the 1970’s or early 1980’s, as I have said its got the whole spaghetti western vibe to it.

Wikipedia lists this movie in the “Weird Western Crime Film” genre, it is a crime film and there is elements of a western and it is weird but the actual definition of a “Weird Western” is a western that has supernatural, sci fi and/or occult elements, none of these are in the film as far as I could see. Yeah there is weird segments that to me seem more metaphorical and not in anyway supernatural. Maybe you will see it differently.

There is a lot of people that are saying they are sick of all the retro call backs in movies. I never get sick of these types of movies, in fact I go out of my way to find them. The best ones are the ones that combine the past with the present to create something new, of course nothing is new under the sun, everything has been done before, however its in how you mix those elements together to create something different and fresh. Kind of like ingredients in recipe, all in existence being mixed together to create a new dish, “Let the Corpses Tan” is visual white noise that does that.

Bernie in the middle.

To get tanned go to: https://www.amazon.com/Let-Corpses-Tan-Elina-L%C3%B6wensohn/dp/B07K8XQ8GF

There is gold in dem hills!!!

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Visual White Noise Theater: Climb to the top of the “Holy Mountain” (1973).

When first viewing Alejandro Jodorowsky’s “Holy Mountain” I thought to myself “What is this pretentious hippie horse shit?” If thirty minutes in I was looking at the clock or the edge of my couch I was gonna shut the thing off and rewatch Jodorowsky’s “Santa Sangre” instead. But I gave it a chance and boy am I glad I did.

Through out this movie I was mentally spanked and sent to bed without my dinner, while some of it did have me rolling my eyes at the goofy flower child stuff, the more visceral and antagonizing scenes made me sit up and take notice. Jodorowsky balances the profane with the holy, and the ugly with the beautiful perfectly well. The movie is rife with alchemical, occult, tarot, and religious symbols. Some of it highly offensive to certain people. Pretty much it is the journey of a Christ like “Fool” of the tarot deck along with a limbless dwarf which is the “Five of Swords”. What ensues is crazy: temple prostitutes dressed like nuns topless and one looks like a ten year old girl, flayed animals on crucifixes, a historical reenactment of the destruction of the Aztecs by the Conquistadors done by iguanas and lizards dressed in miniature armor, a transvestite nun and his fat guards dressed like ancient Roman soldiers make a Christ cast of the Fool’s body, men in gas masks and guns having sex with tourist women etc.  I could go on and on.

 The Fool comes to a tower where gold is lowered down to the crowd. The Fool ascends the tower to find out the source of the gold and comes across an alchemist and his assistant who live down a rainbow tunnel. Various giant cards surround him, all of them a reinterpretation of tarot, the Fool shits in a globe and the alchemist transforms it into gold, the movie in this particular scene pretty much beats the viewer over the head with a hammer: “You are shit you can be turned into gold.” The alchemist starts the Fool on a journey to become immortal along with seven different manufacturers of various industries who represent the planets, one manufactures weapons, one cosmetics etc. who wish to become immortal, to do that they have to go to Lotus Island, climb the Holy Mountain and kill the nine immortal masters to learn their secret.

The characters go through various alchemical rituals that change them. I am not a guy who likes to spoil anything but the ending will either have you snorting in derision or making you think. Yes its pretentious, hippie horse shit, but its interesting, pretentious hippie horse shit. I wouldn’t watch this every year, there is certain scenes in this thing that should be put in a physical frame because of how interesting or beautiful they are. This visual white noise might piss you off depending on who you are, some will absolutely love it and be inspired by it, people like Peter Gabriel, Cedric and Omar from Mars Volta, Brann Dailor of Mastodon etc. were inspired by this movie in their various artistic endeavors. Don’t let the fact that Yoko Ono put up money for the production dissuade you from watching this. Like I said this isn’t for everybody, you might very well be picking at the thread of your pants and having a better time doing it than watching this. You’ve been warned.

So where do you start the climb? Well you can start climbing here:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.a4ba06a8-3193-110b-09f7-12392ed42ce7/ref=dv_web_auth_no_re_sig/147-2034334-7009322?ie=UTF8&autoplay=1&

Good luck finding an affordable dvd/blu ray that is one Holy Mountain your gonna have to climb yourself.

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Visual White Noise Theater: Re “Possessor” (2020) of bodies.

Identity Crisis. Confusion. Body Changes. Mind Melding. Sounds like a Cronenberg flick, and you’d be right about that except this is a different Cronenberg, this is sonny boy Cronenberg who is a chip off the old block. Brandon takes after his old man in all the right ways, I am very picky about new and modern films. I rely heavily on people, and web sites I trust who have the same tastes as me to point me in the right direction. I am not a movie snob who only watches flicks from 1910’s to the early 1990’s (well that is mostly what I watch but take from that what you will) There is still good films and film makers out there, you just have to search them out. “Possessor” proves that beyond a reasonable doubt, I rarely post negative articles about things because if it wastes my time I don’t in turn want to waste yours. Money you can get back, time you can’t unless you have a time machine that can make you younger and take you back in time, if you have something like that drop me a line. Anyways I am going off on a tangent here, maybe a “Possessor” has taken over my body, that would be a good excuse for some of the shit I write on here.

Andrea Riseborough (who played Mandy in “Mandy”) plays Tasya Vos who works for a shadowy agency whose clients hire them to take over the minds of certain people who get forced mind implants for various reasons, and then the person with the implant is made to commit suicide by the person who takes over their mind via a machine. This all smacks of “Videodrome” to me. Problem is, as the assassin takes over different minds the assassin starts to lose their bearing in their own body and their own reality starts to deteriorate. Tasya Vos’ handler, Girder (played by Jennifer Jason Leigh, if you don’t know who she is you should have your head examined) is concerned about Tasya’s attachment to her family and  slow mental deterioration. Despite this she agrees to take a job killing a CEO, John Parse (played by Sean Bean, again you know who he is don’t bullshit me, he’s been in everything) by taking over the boyfriend of his daughter. I am just gonna leave it there. Things go shit whack crazy really fast, your gonna be mind fucked so hard you won’t be able to think straight for a week. It will call into question your perception of yourself, reality and the universe, yeah that was pretentious and yeah I typed that. I can be pretentious sometimes too. Anyways, I recommend this one, this one is relatively new, Brandon did one other movie before this that I want to check out called “Antiviral” about people who buy the viruses of famous people and get infected by the disease their heroes were infected by. Again “Antiviral” seems to play with different identities.

 

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. I’d highly recommend it, Brandon isn’t completely like his dad but he is very close to the good things. Can’t wait to see what else this guy has in store for the future.

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Visual White Noise Theater: Happy “New Year’s Evil”!!!

Well, everybody is saying that 2021 will be better than 2020, yeah uh I’ll believe it when I see it. Anyways, this bit of visual white noise will at least put you off to a good start, “New Years Evil”!

Yeah yeah this is your typical early 1980’s slasher, a guy gets pissed that every woman, including his wife, are being “bitches” and starts taking them out. He had a traumatic experience when he was younger and he was put into an insane asylum. Again a typical slasher, except this slasher has New Wave music, the New Year’s event is hosted by Diane Sullivan (played by Roz Kelly) whose son and husband, Richard Sullivan (played by character actor Kip Niven) are pissed at her. The Shadows and Made in Japan play at the New Years event, where a guy with a voice modulator calls into the radio request line saying he is gonna kill a person in each time zone as the year changes over.

The police race to stop him, you start wondering if the son and/or the husband is doing the crimes to get revenge on her. Not many horror films take place around New Years Eve, the other ones I can think of off the top of my head are, “Bloody New Years” and “Terror Train” all nutso entries. For a slasher film it has little nudity, most slasher films you can expect flopping tits and voluminous southern carpets. Not so in this one, you can see the top of the tit of one of the chicks in the car smoking a joint while her boyfriend feels her up.

This…

Leads to this…

So is this worth your attention? Yep. Not the best out of the roster of early 1980’s slasher films, but its still a 80’s slasher film and that is better than most of the shit that passes for “horror” these days. Another thing, it was put out by independent, 1980’s exploitation machine, Cannon, which means this bit of noise takes no prisoners and reigns in the New Year in style. “New Year’s Evil” played at Quentin Tarantino’s New Beverly Cinema in LA on December 29th, 2018 which says a lot, and I am not a fan of everything Quentin does. Well its New Years Day as I write this, if you want a New Years movie watch it here (hate youtube but you can watch it here): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMzXP6Scndo

To all who read this, hope the next year is better for you and everybody else.

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Visual White Noise Theater: Take the unholy Sacrament…”Religion Sauvage” (2004)

Did your blotter acid go bad? Does your stomach not like shrooms? Are you still pissed at your parents for making you go to church instead of playing video games on Sunday? Are you fucking sick of these questions? I am and here is the white noise remedy.

“Hopital Brut” only kicked you in the head, “Religion Sauvage” breaks your nose and kicks you in the nuts so hard they go up into your throat. The French art collective, Le Dernier Cri, put together another collection of animated shorts based on another one of their comics “Religion Sauvage”, which is critical of religious belief, that not only includes Jesus, Satan, Allah, Krishna etc. It also includes being critical of people who worship sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, like Gods.

Featuring underground artists from around the world doing animated shorts like on “Hopital Brut” people like Mike Diana, Stu Mead, Tochka, Melted Men, Valium etc. this smorgasbord of degeneracy will make your head spin and your mouth water. Most of these artists don’t ever do animation, they do paintings, comics, and drawings. This collection rapes you, cuts off your head and has sex with it and it isn’t pleasant.

This is “Liquid Television” for adults, and “Liquid Television” was made for adults!!! There is piss, shit, sex, useless violence, dumb racism, sacrilege, Lolita complexes etc. This will piss off every person of every stripe. This white noise doesn’t give one fuck about your sensibilities or feels. “Religion Sauvage” cuts your feels into tiny, bloody pieces, devours them and shits them out. The gif above was taken from the Stu Mead segment, Stu normally paints and draws and this is one of his paintings put into animation, the dude has been crippled from the day he was born and has a Lolita Complex, his short is like something from a 1920’s stop motion film made by the people who manufacture nightmares.

Like “Hopital Brut”, “Sauvage” will make your heart race and make you confused, beware, this visual noise can be disorienting, and I am telling you drug heads out there right now, DO NOT DO ANYTHING WATCHING THIS. Seriously, I don’t do substances like that anymore (only caffeine) and I can tell you watching this on anything will be really unpleasant.

Some shorts will make you laugh, some will make you angry, some will make you want to scour your eyes out with a Brillo pad, some will make you cry and some will make you break the device your watching “Religion Sauvage” on. These are all good things when any piece of art will make you feel that way. Do I agree with the message? I don’t talk politics or religion on my blog unless its part of the content of the piece of noise I am reviewing. So yeah none of your damn business, I could be a frothing at the mouth atheist who thinks all the digs at religion are great or I could be a closet Jesus Freak who bristles at the content but loves the art. But I am not telling you which one I am.

With this collection you get every variety of animation: Stop motion, regular cell animation, claymation etc. as well as live action segments, all meant to provoke. This thing spits in your face and wants you to punch back hard, it provokes but it also makes things interesting. Two hours is the run time of this thing and I wasn’t bored for one second, my jaw was on the floor for almost all of its running time. Again, like “Hopital Brut” which I reviewed prior (review of “Hopital Brut” and link to watch it here https://www.noisepuncher.net/2020/11/29/short-s-hit-list-hospital-brut-1999/), it sometimes gets into “pretentious up its ass” art snob territory but than it pulls itself back from precipice of art student assholery.

The nightmare logic of this collection drifts in and out of beauty, ugliness, hilarity, brutality and the unbelievable. This is one of these collections that if I drifted off to sleep during watching it and woke up I’d wondered if I’d actually dreamed or actually saw it on this compilation. Is that a plus for this visual noise? Maybe, depends on you as a person. I found this on a external hard drive my buddy gave me of weird short films, holy shit, isn’t the right word.

So should you dive headlong into this visual noise? Will you drown in it? Will you drink it up and have your tastes satisfied? Or will you spit it out in disgust? This thing isn’t for the squeamish, watch at your own risk.

To watch this go to:https://www.bitchute.com/video/kkgzSpSyJIKB/

There is physical copies with artwork and I urge you to actually support this art collective Le Dernier Cri and buy a copy, I am and they actually have one more hour of footage on the DVD version:http://www.lederniercri.org/prod/sauvages-religions-820,4.html

My review on “Hopital Brut” and where to watch it:https://www.noisepuncher.net/2020/11/29/short-s-hit-list-hospital-brut-1999/

BEWARE!!! OFFENSE AHEAD!!!

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Visual White Noise Theater: “Das Buch Der Blutigen Geschichten” translated “The Book of Bloody Stories” aka “Bloody Curse” 1987-1991

Alright folks, time to choke some German sausage down (that didn’t sound gay) made of Han Solo figurines, Barbie Dolls, black laser shooting zombies, drooling demons, burnt action figures and tons of red corn syrup. Sure some will say its bad for you but it tastes great going down and will most likely give you a heart attack.

Directed by Michael Kahlert and made over the span of 1987-1991 this is stop motion mayhem, a German gore movie made with figurines and miniature castles, its like a demented German kid decided to make a stop motion movie destroying his own figurines. I enjoyed every damn minute of it too.

I found out about this insane turkey reading about it in “Bleeding Skull”. Joseph Ziemba put it in one of his “Best of..” lists of 2013. So I set out to find yet another needle in a haystack. I am one of these people that loses sleep over stupid shit like obscure movies, books, music etc. I don’t lose sleep over politics, money, work etc. which shows you where my priorities are. The title “The Book of Bloody Stories” wasn’t popping up, even with its German title in any search engine. So in desperation I hit up Joe not expecting any response. He responded.

Zombie black laser attack!!!

Joe directed me to a web site called “Video Screams” and it was under the “The Bloody Curse”. That was one cool dude, normally when I ask people where I can find something I get no response or snark. Joe was very helpful, “Video Screams” is pretty awesome, they have a lot of stuff you aren’t gonna find elsewhere. Check them out and they have a search function on their web site. I’ll post the link at the end of this post.

Manikin head destroyed!!!

There is no spoken word dialogue any dialogue is shown with cards in German, no translation. I know a little German and the plot goes something like there is a cursed castle in Northern England called Gortswill where the owner lured two students into the basement and killed them. Apparently Satan built Gortswill and haunts it, numerous people have gone into Gortswill stop the evil only to be chopped up, burned up, decapitated or eaten by Godzilla demons. Background music is cheesy Casio synths and Library classical music.

Ka Pow!!!

So is this worth your time? Is it worth the money? Will it make you angry at me? All three will be answered with “yes”. I loved this world, it was like a train wreck, I couldn’t look away and you won’t be able to either. Some of you might fall asleep to this, some of you might sigh really deep and roll your eyes, some will smash their dvd/blu ray player to pieces, some will cream their pants. I did. Scroll down to “Bloody Curse” in the Extreme horror/gore section, get it…http://www.videoscreams.com/CONSOLIDATED%20MINI%20CATALOGUE%202013.htm

Joseph Ziemba 2013 Exquisites list with”Das Buch der Blutigen Geschichten” translated as “Book of Bloody Stories”. http://bleedingskull.com/exquisites-2013-josephs-films-of-the-year/

In closing this bit of white noise for the eyes is one hour fifteen minutes of stop motion insanity made over a period of four years and that is admirable. Stop motion requires a ton of patience, I know, me and my buddy had to make a stop motion movie for our grade in the elective class at my Junior high. Five minutes was how long our movie was and it was torture, I can’t imagine doing one that lasts an hour and fifteen.