Author: noisepuncher_caiaav

De-scrambling white noise audio, visual and sometimes the other senses.

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Short (S)hit List: S & M puppet show from Hell, “Sanzo Hoshi” and “Jyomon Rashomon” (1967)

There is some things in Japanese culture that have me scratching my head saying “WTF?!” And those things, like “Sanzo Hoshi” and “Jyomon Rashomon” make life worth living. I like weird puppets, and I like creepy things, you put them together and I am one happy, perverted SOB. Granted I am not into the whole “whips and leather” thing myself, but I find the topic interesting from a psychological and artistic stand point. I don’t want to be whipped or tortured while fucking, call me vanilla if you want to, I stand guilty. That being said when I first watched these shorts I was mind boggled.

I got this as an extra DVD when I ordered the Japanese “Guinea Pig” movies, the disc had no label or anything written on it, I figured it was some throwaway. I put it in my player and my eyes fell out of my head, I was confused and disturbed and for the longest time I couldn’t find the titles to the two shorts, it was mainly the language barrier. There isn’t much dialogue in these two shorts and the second short “Jyomon Rashomon” had a title card which I put in google translate. From there I was able to find out the titles.

Hailing from the Japanese “Guro” tradition I wasn’t able to find much info on these two shorts, info was very scanty. They were directed by Kentaro Uchida, the first short is “Sanzo Hoshi” it is about a monk by the same name who descends into hell and has his semen milked by female demons, when they drink his semen they get younger by 1000 years. This short visually is the better of the two and disturbing, its like a Jim Henson puppet show from Hell. Two female demons cane and jerk off the unfortunate monk while other demons watch getting aroused or playing strange music. The attention to detail is pretty cool and when I tried to find a date on when this was made I kept on running into “1967”, problem is the film grain, the hair styles and colors of the various demons scream “1980’s”, maybe these shorts were ahead of their time, I don’t know.

As you can see from the above gif these puppets are life size. At first I had to really look to make sure, and as you can see there is puppeteers dressed in black moving them, that is the only off setting thing. You can see them but it is actually amazing this much detail was put into the puppets and the surrounding scenes. Again beware, these are puppet shows are not meant for kids.

The second short “Jyomon Rashomon” is about a brigand who captures a woman and canes her in front of demons in robes who jerk off. In fact, he canes her until she pees, this one gets kind of monotonous but again the attention to detail is amazing. Again I was amazed and repulsed at the same time, I felt kind of dirty watching this short. Some of you out there will probably pop a tent in your pants, I did at first but the S&M stuff turned me the hell off. It just isn’t my thing, you dig?

Very scanty details and info on this one, the details remain a mystery. I want find out why this was made, who it was made for and more about who made it, the director, Kentaro Uchida, seems to only have directed these two shorts and an 1986 film in the tradition of the “Faces of Death” called “Shocks”, I’ll have to track that one down. I can’t find anything else out about the shorts. Did they play at specialty film festivals? Or maybe at Japanese S&M clubs and gatherings? These are the kinds of things that drive me and people think I am nuts for wanting to decode this type of visual white noise. If my mom or grandma ever saw my blog their eyes would fill with tears and they’d go into guilt trip mode and ask me “Why can’t you do a blog about good things? Positive things like kittens, flowers and Jesus? Why do you have to make a blog about gross and sick things?” I’d just shrug, trying to explain this stuff to people who have no ears, eyes or sensations for white noise of any kind is a waste of time, they won’t get it and I don’t expect them to.

So in closing this of course isn’t gonna be for everybody, some will find this disgusting, sexist, nasty etc. I am not talking to everybody though and it is up to you if you want to watch these two shorts. You’ve been warned, if you want to journey into a strange, beautiful and ugly at the same time, weird world than go here: https://www.bitchute.com/video/99naUcC9rXzk/

ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK, SLAVE.

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Visual White Noise Theater: This makes me “Furious”! (1984)

Visual white noise this is. Incoherent plot. Ridiculous fight scenes. Killer Chefs. A sorcerer that shoots chickens out of his fingers and turns unruly foot soldiers into chickens and then turns himself into a pig. A rip off Devo band. Exploding skeletons. Foam rubber dragons. WTF is this shit? When I am asking that question that means that I am having a good time.

I seriously have no idea how this thing was breathed into existence but I am glad that it was. Explanations escape me, at first I actually thought this movie was made this way because of a language barrier, kind of like “Miami Connection” or “Samurai Cop” and genius results inadvertently. Nope, two dudes with American names, Tim Everett and Tom Satori, wrote and directed it. Maybe large amounts of coke contributed to the nut house logic of this movie, hey it was 1984.

Simon, played by Simon Rhee a real life martial arts expert, finds out his sister Kim Lee, played by Arlene Montano, former Miss Philippines, was murdered by some thugs when she tries to retrieve some magic box, the thugs take a small tusk from her that gives directions to the magic box. Simon visits his sensei in some huge, glass corporate building, the sensei is floating off the ground in a lotus position and sends Simon out to find the killers of his sister. The sensei, Master Chan, is played by Simon’s real life brother Philip Rhee. From there you get talking Buddhas, Chinese restaurants where shirtless men juggle swords, waiters with weird masks, close ups of old women eating chicken (fucking disgusting by the way) etc.

Another thing, Simon seems to live in a hut where kids outside practice martial arts, the whole time I was watching this I was asking myself, what are those kids doing there? How did they get there? Does he teach martial arts? Were they orphans who had no place to go? Or even worse was Simon some type of creep? The questions don’t get answered, the kids are there and at one point they participate in beating up the Devo band wannabes outside the glass structure, this Simon guy doesn’t care that he is putting youths in danger. Speaking of the glass building, it looks like one of those structures that house lawyers upstairs and realtors downstairs. Maybe one of the film people’s brother’s friend of a friend worked there and they got permission to film there. You’ll be asking a lot of questions and they won’t get answered, failed martial arts students turned into chickens and served at a restaurant (Is it cannibalism if they were once humans?), battles in the astral plane and maniacs in Russian fur hats. Confusing, isn’t it?

“Furious” might make you furious, especially if your fans of movies like “The Avengers” and “The Fast and Furious” (see what I did there?) it might make you mad anyways. Its as if the filmmakers threw a bunch of ideas at the wall and whatever stuck they threw into the movie. “We’ll have a battle on the astral plane! Yeah thats it, that’ll hook em’! That band, those weird guys with the pyramid hats, glasses and jump suits, Devo, we’ll make bad guys that look like them and play in a band in the middle of the movie! We’ll have people turn into chickens! We’ll have karate! We’ll make millions, baby, millions!” (snort, snort, snort) Bet you that is how it went down too.

Apparently the Rhee brothers were stunt coordinators on this film and some of the people fighting in this movie are their students. I am not gonna deceive you, “Furious” is a cluster fuck of visual white noise, it might overwhelm you with its all encompassing power. Your jaw will drop to the fucking floor, lets hear it for “Furious”!

                               

So you are asking yourself, where the hell do I view this 73 minute disaster piece? Well your in luck you can see it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-27-vo-Hxfk

And if you aren’t up for tuber’s hi jinx you can also see it here: https://tubitv.com/movies/470735/furious

Don’t say I didn’t warn you!!!

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Website Spotlight: Kindertrauma

As a kid do you remember those times when a movie or TV show scared the ever living shit out of you and the trauma stayed with you into adulthood? Then you were so traumatized you forgot the name of the movie, saw a clip in passing or snuck down the hall or stairs while your parents were watching something a kid shouldn’t? Then “Kindertrauma” is for you! And they’ll help you find that traumatizing piece of media. Love this site, it deals in visual white noise, the kind I like. The kind that scared us as kids. Of course something that scared you as a kid might not even effect you the same as a grown up. You almost feel let down after finding the piece of media you were looking for, and you say to yourself “Man I was a fucking pussy, this scared me?” Sometimes that realization will ruin your day or even worse, your year. Of course sometimes if you find what you are looking for you may get re traumatized. This site is a lot of fun, its site you must  check out. They’ll sometimes post random stills and have you guess what movie it is. They have reviews and various people writing about their memories of being traumatized by a TV show or movie and if you can’t remember the name of something you can submit a question and they will try to help you out if your request is valid. So get trauma, Kindertrauma here:

https://www.kindertrauma.com/

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White Noise on Paper: WTF is “The Psychotronic Video Guide”?

That is the question your probably asking, well let Mike clue you in on what that means from his foreword: “There are alphabetical reviews here of more than 3000 features (and select TV shows on video) that are considered Psychotronic. That means horror, science fiction, fantasy and exploitation movies. These are releases that used to be called “B” features and were popular in inner city grindhouses, at drive-ins, and on local late-night TV. These days, you can see many of them at any time of the day on cable TV or whenever you want to on video. It doesn’t matter when or where they were made, whether they’re “good” or not, whether they cost a few thousand dollars or over $100 million. They can be barely released obscurities, acknowledged cult items, or over-hyped and over-merchandised household names. And unlike other movie guides, nothing is omitted because its in bad taste. All of this stuff is out there. You should know about it.” And your gonna know a lot after perusing this book, hell, this giant cinder block! You can throw it at somebody’s head and put them in the hospital, you can use it as a door stop, or throw it through a window. You can read it from beginning to end if, you get to the end before dying of old age or peruse it at your leisure. And if your a fan of crazy films this book is a must have, all joking aside.

I did a few shitty scans to try to show you what your in for if you purchase this book. A fellow cult movie lover told me the first book, “The Psychotronic Film Guide” is the Old Testament and “The Psychotronic Video Guide” is the New Testament. In my opinion, I reviewed the video guide first because its bigger and will give you more bang for your buck, of course most of the movies reviewed in the first book are left out of the video guide. The film guide is a slimmer book but it still is big. This book is how I found out about “Black Devil Doll From Hell”, not the shitty 2000’s remake, but the 1984 shot on video monstrosity, a nasty, mean, dirty abortion of a “movie” that introduced me to the whole “SOV” i.e. “Shot on Video” movie genre thing that opened me to a whole new world of insane good bad. As stated in the foreword the titles are listed alphabetically so if your looking for something you’ll find it fast, each title has the year the movie was released, the director, the screen writer, editor, main actor or actresses, cinematographer, music and the producer, and a small capsule explaining the movie and Weldon’s take on it, Weldon’s short takes are witty and sometimes downright hilarious. I kept a pen by my side to mark movies I might find interesting, Mike will also go into depth about the release details of the “video” and he will talk about “tape”, for you younger noise addicts you won’t know what he means, the good thing is most of the titles talked about in this book are available in some format, that could be the original tape if your looking on ebay, sometimes a download or torrent off certain “uh hmm” sites, a DVD R from an online company that specializes in hard to find movies, and fly by night operators or small film companies releasing this stuff to actual DVD and/or Blu Ray. 

No color pictures kids, it isn’t a “picture book” go elsewhere for that, there is some black and white stills as well as poster art scattered through the book. Of course most of these “guides”, “encyclopedias”, and “reference” books have become obsolete with the advent of the internet and search engines. However I am one of those old codgers that prefers a book that he can flip through, and don’t get me wrong books are still put out but their starting to get few and far between. When there is web sites and blogs listing little known content which pertains to movies, music, books and art, who needs a huge ass book that takes up space? I fucking do and I will continue to prefer physical media to digital media on some server or cloud.  All in all this is something you can leave on the back of your toilet and you will never get bored, just keep a pen handy. I know leafing through this thing I’d happen on an interesting movie and try to commit the name to memory, problem is most of the time I would forget the name and get pissed off. Another cool feature of this book is the grey genre capsules where Michael will explain a genre of a movie and what to look for.

Michael started the “Psychotronic Video” zine in 1980, zines were pretty much physical blogs put to print, made cheaply xeroxed and stapled together. I am gonna review more zines later on. He got the name from the movie “Psychotronic Man” which I will have to track down. Weldon also interviewed various actors, directors and other people in the cult film business for his zine aside from the reviews. He had guest reviewers in his magazine which covered music, other zines and comics. He folded “Psychotronic” in 2006 citing increasing printing costs, and increasingly underhanded behavior from distributors, he said it was impossible to put out a self published zine in the 2000’s, he said it was hard enough in the 1980’s and 1990’s, the heyday of the zine. All in all he released 41 issues, some of which I used to see in Barnes n’ Nobles as a teenager next to the defunct magazine “Film Threat”. I remember buying a copy because when I opened it and started reading it I  was automatically enthralled. In the process of growing up and numerous moves I lost those issues but remembered the name, which is how I found out about the “Psychotronic Video Guide” and the first book, the “Movie Guide”. Michael doesn’t have a web site nor is he interested in writing anymore books, zines or articles, he runs a small shop in Augusta, Georgia named “Psychotronic” that sells posters and collectibles. More power to him, so if your able to get a copy, I will review the first book in the future. I reviewed this one because it is more interesting and fatter. Happy hunting, noise addicts.

There are copies on amazon, as I am writing this, the cheapest one is around 30 bucks, I only paid 20 for mine, not trying to rub it in, well I guess I am kinda rubbing it a little in: https://www.amazon.com/Psychotronic-Video-Guide-Film/dp/0312131496

 

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Visual White Noise Theater: Rated “PG: Psycho Goreman”.

Kids, I am really fucking sick of CGI over saturation, if you comb through my posts one thing that disqualifies a movie in my mind forbeing awesome visual white noise is over reliance on CGI when it should be a tool. That is why I don’t like a majority of super hero movies, it becomes too much and I can tell its fake. Now I know I sound like that crazy old man that lives down the street, yells at you for throwing your baseball by accident in my yard and curses at the clouds. I don’t care, yeah I am old and will continue to have mostly old man tastes. I am damn sick of movies that have no punch and have stupid fucking ridiculous CGI monster battles at the end. I will pick a SOV (Shot on Video) movie like “Black Devil Doll from Hell” anytime over CGI saturated Marvel shit like “End Game”. So whenever I hear that somebody is doing a movie with mainly practical effects I get rock hard and jizz in my jeans. “PG: Psycho Goreman” made me sticky down stairs.

Every kid’s dream is to be able to command a killer alien, which is pretty much the basis of the movie. Psycho Goreman is exiled to earth by a council of aliens because he destroys whole populations and planets. Two kids find PG’s gem which makes kids the master of him, when the council finds out he is awake they want him dead. Pretty cut and dried, and all those aliens are made by hands not on a fucking computer. Latex, rubber, red corn syrup, animal entrails. Burn baby burn.

“PG: Psycho Goreman” has kid actors in it, of course that will turn off a lot of my followers since most kid actors can be fucking annoying and ruin a movie. In my opinion these kids don’t, the girl who plays Mimi (Nita-Josee Hanna) is “freakin” hilarious (watch the movie you’ll get the “freakin” part). How I found out about this movie was I was a huge fan of the film collective “Astron 6” their special effects expert on their short and feature length films was a man by the name of Steve Kostanski, whose previous special effects work was on the  the great “Manborg” (director also), “Father’s Day”(director also), “The Editor”, the awesome, Lovecraftian “Void” (director also) and “Leprechaun Returns”(director also), granted all of his movies have a smattering of CGI but in almost all of his movies its mainly practical effects and in “PG: Psycho Goreman’s” case, as well as “Manborg’s”, stop motion. Anybody who uses stop motion these days goes in the gold book.

This movie is really fresh off the boat, it hasn’t even rotted yet and it doesn’t stink. As of today its a couple months old, truth be told I don’t know how to describe this movie, I’ll take a shot at it, its like a cross between 1990’s era “Power Rangers”, “E.T.”, “The Guyver” and one twisted Rob Zombie music video. This movie is just fun and while a lot of you will get really mad at the jokes and throw your cheap beer at your big screen TV, I was rolling all over the floor laughing. This movie made me happy, sometimes I want something that makes me think, be angry, be sad etc. Then there is movies like “PG: Psycho Goreman” that are just fun and stupid.

Take it from Steven in this interview with Mashable: “It’s mostly inspired by my experiences as a kid, I grew up in the video store, constantly going to rent movies with my family every weekend. There were a lot of scenarios where I would rent movies that were not suitable for kids, and so ‘PG’ is a bit of me working through some of those traumas.” Gotta love childhood trauma. So get traumatized and think me later.

To get hacked to pieces by alien god go here (and yes you have to pay for it, dammit, more visual white noise like this needs to be made): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwDGB214hM8

If you want to get physical like I prefer (and I will end up eating your soul) go here: https://www.amazon.com/Brooks-Alexis-Hancey-Nita-Josee-Hanna/dp/B08Q9VZRDV

The full mashable interview here: https://mashable.com/article/pg-psycho-goreman/

Update: “Psycho Goreman” is available in blu ray!!! Highly recommend going over to the distributor, Raven Banner, and picking up the limited edition sets of the movie, I got the one with the action figure and there is one with an O card here: https://ravenbanner.store/search?q=Psycho+Goreman

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White Noise Eardrum Buster: Following the “Marching Church” not in the day but “At Night”.

 The cold reaches tendrils into your brain freezing all thought processes chilling you to the bone. You will feel like your trapped in a cavern made of ice and it feels like the chill will spread to your heart. The cold goes by the name “Marching Church” and the seven inch is called “At Night”.

The brain child of Elias Bender Rønnenfelt formerly of the synth pop act “Vår“, Marching Church is his solo act. With this solo act he goes in a more black metal/punk/post punk/experimental area, its lo fi, scratchy, echoey and primitive. Its like five dirty, jagged pieces of ice that cut you to the bone. Its short and to the point, and what a point it is. 

I always misread the back as saying “Recorded in my room Willemoesgade Kobenhavn September-Oktober 2010 At Night” Probably because as you can read from the back of the seven inch it has the album title alongside the recording details. By listening to the music I automatically assumed that he recorded this whole thing on a dark, wintry Denmark night. I am going to go with that assumption because this music could only be recorded on a dark, wintry night. Some audophiles will be pissed at the lo fi recording, I think it adds to the over all atmosphere. Its primitive black metal and blackened punk with wailing, mournful deathrock, post punk vocals. Down and dirty.

This version was released by Morte Creations. Posh Isolation, who mainly specializes in synthwave and/or noise, put out the tape version. Posh Isolation released their next album “Throughout the Borders” a experimental/post punk venture, also Marching Church was featured in the Posh Isolation black metal punk compilation, “Gra Fraktion”, the three songs on that comp that Marching Chruch have are mourning, dirge filled pieces of primitive black metal punk, I may post about the “Gra Fraktion” comp sometime down the road. However, in my opinion, after “Throughout the Borders”, Marching Church went in a direction I couldn’t follow, cleaned up “indie” soul which I found lame. I wish that Marching Church would’ve continued in their post punk, experimental vein but that is just me. At least we got “At Night” as a monument to what Marching Church could’ve been.

To listen to the seven inch go to: https://www.bitchute.com/video/RZeP8F28u7FC/

Copies available at discogs: https://www.discogs.com/Marching-Church-At-Night/master/689552

Also copies are available from my buddies at Analog Worship: https://www.analogworship.com/item/?id=1532

So here we go “Marching to Church At Night”.

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White Noise Eardrum Buster: Having “Fun in Latex” on a “Sissy Sunday”.

The jig is up, pervert. Your going to jail you freak, peeping Tom piece of shit, masturbating into your vinyl freak outfit sneaking around a girl’s slumber party where their pissing and shitting in adult diapers, and listening to bad pop music. God damn freak, your gonna get beat up and put on a sex offenders registry. Listening to Fun in Latex’s “Sissy Sunday” tape will leave you feeling like this. I review noise audio and visual and this is literally a noise tape, well, a field recording of a girl’s slumber party where at one point a girl gets off on pissing in adult diapers. In parts of the tape the voices are modulated and there is crinkling of rubber sheets and vinyl. If your the type of weirdo turned on by this, this tape is for you.

I got this tape in a collection my buddy sent me, he was getting rid of a bunch of noise tapes and sent these to me. This one stood out because it was so different looking from the other cassettes in the stuff he sent me. The cassette shell insert had the picture of a pink colored girl’s room, the cassette itself was a clear recorded one with the band’s name and album title in white fingernail polish etched on the tape, at first I thought this was some dream pop or “indie” mainstream nonsense. I was wrong, this made me feel gross and this made me feel creepy, it felt wrong listening to this, like a guy snuck a camera or bug into a sleep over, a sleep over that featured girls in crinkly, pink vinyl suits and soiled diapers.

There is another insert in the tape, a unsettling picture of a child’s bed, and again in white finger nail polish, “Fun in Latex Sissy Sunday recorded live 2014” now of course I am being facetious in the proceeding comment, I am pretty sure the dude from Fun in Latex knows some pretty freaky fetish people and got them in on his action. Or maybe he is a pervert who taped a slumber party. Looking at the cover and the insert you get the feeling that this type of material leans dangerously into “Lolita territory”. The thing looks very homemade, like the cover and insert were made off a printer along with the white finger nail polish.

Looking at discogs Fun in Latex has other releases and in that box my buddy gave me was another Fun in Latex release “Ja Wohl” with a unsettling cover which I might upload in the future. It says the artist’s names are Joseph Gates and Venessa Gates, a husband and wife team if I am correct who probably like to dress each other up in diapers and pink vinyl with pacifiers. The Analog Worship web site describes this tape as “Absolute warmth and sissy reverie, crinkling textures, and cuddly comforts await the listener brave enough to venture into the veritable Princess’s bedroom closet of delights contained within the confines of this cassette tape.” So you get the drift. I like weird, this is weird but its also creepy. Don’t know how I feel about it, there you have Fun in Latex “Sissy Sunday”.

So you want to be dressed up in a frilly pink dress, get abused and be made to piss yourself? Well than come on down, sissy, and give this a preview listen at: https://www.bitchute.com/video/3LfXr8UAxbnf/

No copies of the tape available on discogs but these are on a limited number from Analog Worship, via Vulnavia recordings snap one up if you like this kind of thing: https://www.analogworship.com/item/?id=1642

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Visual White Noise Theater: Go ahead “Let the Corpses Tan” (2017)

Wow oh wow. If this had been made in the 1960’s/1970’s and not 2017 nobody would’ve known the difference. This is what would happen if you threw Spaghetti Westerns, Euro Sleaze, up your ass art films and Poliziotteschi films in a blender, this is what would result. With a soundtrack that sounds straight Morricone, bright colored titles and sequences, this could’ve been a lost Leone film if it was made by Belgians instead of Italians. Three Criminals, one sex addict, two cops, two ladies with a child, a failed novelist, a grifting lawyer all shoot at and plot against each other over stolen gold, all of this taking place in a old mission type church where the sex addict MILF who seems to own it runs an artist commune. One of the criminals looks like a French Charles Bronson minus the mustache, and another is a craggy, rough looking guy, Bernie Bonvoisin, that in real life fronts a French heavy metal band that sounds like AC/DC called “Trust” which has been around forever. There is nudity, blood gushing, liquid gold thrown on people, insane edit cuts, leather gloves and leather jackets.

The movie is based on a novel “Laissez Bronzer Les Cadavres” by Jean-Patrick Manchette and Jean Pierre Bastid, Manchette is credited with reviving the crime novel in France in the 1970’s and 1980’s. Sometimes this movie can drag, especially with the arty sequences, sometimes it can be confusing. Some events take place in the past with one of the characters remembering things from when he was young and his youthful indiscretions with what I assume is the sex addict MILF art commune leader. It also shows the same events from the different points of view of the different characters which I thought was pretty cool. Some people might go “What the fuck is going on?” And I wouldn’t blame them one bit either.

The twin subjects of lust and greed come up often, and seem to be the main points of the movie. All of this happens over gold. Gold is evil. Which to me is kind of a simplistic point to make in a movie, but it tries to go deeper than that but it doesn’t try enough. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t preachy, if it was I wouldn’t waste my time or yours writing a review on this movie. Again this blog is about things I find interesting or cool I want to share with everybody else, I’ll never waste your time with boring, puerile noise. “Let the Corpses Tan” is not completely boring and it isn’t puerile. Its fascinating how they took the old Poliziotteschi formula and breathed new life into it. This movie doesn’t tell you what time period this takes place in because it could take place any time but it seems the absence of cell phones in the movie dates this back to the 1970’s or early 1980’s, as I have said its got the whole spaghetti western vibe to it.

Wikipedia lists this movie in the “Weird Western Crime Film” genre, it is a crime film and there is elements of a western and it is weird but the actual definition of a “Weird Western” is a western that has supernatural, sci fi and/or occult elements, none of these are in the film as far as I could see. Yeah there is weird segments that to me seem more metaphorical and not in anyway supernatural. Maybe you will see it differently.

There is a lot of people that are saying they are sick of all the retro call backs in movies. I never get sick of these types of movies, in fact I go out of my way to find them. The best ones are the ones that combine the past with the present to create something new, of course nothing is new under the sun, everything has been done before, however its in how you mix those elements together to create something different and fresh. Kind of like ingredients in recipe, all in existence being mixed together to create a new dish, “Let the Corpses Tan” is visual white noise that does that.

Bernie in the middle.

To get tanned go to: https://www.amazon.com/Let-Corpses-Tan-Elina-L%C3%B6wensohn/dp/B07K8XQ8GF

There is gold in dem hills!!!

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Visual White Noise Theater: Climb to the top of the “Holy Mountain” (1973).

When first viewing Alejandro Jodorowsky’s “Holy Mountain” I thought to myself “What is this pretentious hippie horse shit?” If thirty minutes in I was looking at the clock or the edge of my couch I was gonna shut the thing off and rewatch Jodorowsky’s “Santa Sangre” instead. But I gave it a chance and boy am I glad I did.

Through out this movie I was mentally spanked and sent to bed without my dinner, while some of it did have me rolling my eyes at the goofy flower child stuff, the more visceral and antagonizing scenes made me sit up and take notice. Jodorowsky balances the profane with the holy, and the ugly with the beautiful perfectly well. The movie is rife with alchemical, occult, tarot, and religious symbols. Some of it highly offensive to certain people. Pretty much it is the journey of a Christ like “Fool” of the tarot deck along with a limbless dwarf which is the “Five of Swords”. What ensues is crazy: temple prostitutes dressed like nuns topless and one looks like a ten year old girl, flayed animals on crucifixes, a historical reenactment of the destruction of the Aztecs by the Conquistadors done by iguanas and lizards dressed in miniature armor, a transvestite nun and his fat guards dressed like ancient Roman soldiers make a Christ cast of the Fool’s body, men in gas masks and guns having sex with tourist women etc.  I could go on and on.

 The Fool comes to a tower where gold is lowered down to the crowd. The Fool ascends the tower to find out the source of the gold and comes across an alchemist and his assistant who live down a rainbow tunnel. Various giant cards surround him, all of them a reinterpretation of tarot, the Fool shits in a globe and the alchemist transforms it into gold, the movie in this particular scene pretty much beats the viewer over the head with a hammer: “You are shit you can be turned into gold.” The alchemist starts the Fool on a journey to become immortal along with seven different manufacturers of various industries who represent the planets, one manufactures weapons, one cosmetics etc. who wish to become immortal, to do that they have to go to Lotus Island, climb the Holy Mountain and kill the nine immortal masters to learn their secret.

The characters go through various alchemical rituals that change them. I am not a guy who likes to spoil anything but the ending will either have you snorting in derision or making you think. Yes its pretentious, hippie horse shit, but its interesting, pretentious hippie horse shit. I wouldn’t watch this every year, there is certain scenes in this thing that should be put in a physical frame because of how interesting or beautiful they are. This visual white noise might piss you off depending on who you are, some will absolutely love it and be inspired by it, people like Peter Gabriel, Cedric and Omar from Mars Volta, Brann Dailor of Mastodon etc. were inspired by this movie in their various artistic endeavors. Don’t let the fact that Yoko Ono put up money for the production dissuade you from watching this. Like I said this isn’t for everybody, you might very well be picking at the thread of your pants and having a better time doing it than watching this. You’ve been warned.

So where do you start the climb? Well you can start climbing here:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/video/detail/amzn1.dv.gti.a4ba06a8-3193-110b-09f7-12392ed42ce7/ref=dv_web_auth_no_re_sig/147-2034334-7009322?ie=UTF8&autoplay=1&

Good luck finding an affordable dvd/blu ray that is one Holy Mountain your gonna have to climb yourself.

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White Noise on Paper: All Rise for “The Trial of Colonel Sweeto and Other Stories” by Nicholas Gurewitch

Don’t let the bright candy colors of the cover fool you, this is no ordinary “children’s book”, in fact, its not a children’s book at all. Bored and browsing through a mainstream book store where my then girlfriend was looking in the boring Harlequin Romance novel section, my eyes fell on this. At first I thought it was a kid’s book until I opened it, my boredom melted away like Rainbow Sherbet in a hot summer sun. I was laughing so hard I was annoying other customers. I promptly went and bought it. My then girlfriend thought it was disgusting and that is why she is now my ex.

Its as if some maniac played too much “Candy Land”, read too much Frank Baum books, and watched too many episodes of South Park and then decided to make a comic strip. I love this book, it was unique in that it was almost presented as a children’s comic collection but the humor was messed up, and stomach churning in some cases.

The creator, Nicholas Gurewitch, was art director of the Syracuse student paper “The Daily Orange” and first published the strip, “Perry Bible Fellowship” there in 2001. Since then different publications have picked the strip up. The art work can vary from strip to strip which makes the whole thing interesting. The whole book is full of snickers and/or outright belly laughs. Most of the strips in “The Trial of Colonel Sweeto and other Stories” are taken from previously published work. Man oh man where does Nick come up with this stuff?

According to Nick, “Perry Bible Fellowship” is actually named after a real church in Perry, Maine. A lot of the humor is abstract and non sequitur if this annoys you then you might want to avoid this book. Scratch that, if that annoys you why are you reading my blog? Fuck right off. HA! HA! This is something that puts a smile on my face if I am in a bad mood. I am so glad something like this exists, if it didn’t I hope me or somebody else would’ve done it as good as Nick does it.

Nick still till this day updates “The Perry Bible Fellowship” web site, less frequent than he used to do. I am glad he is keeping this going and hasn’t given up on it, the world needs this now more than ever. There is a lot of humorless twats walking around today, maybe they need a unicorn horn thrust through their chests…A unicorn horn of HUMOR.

This insane candy colored, ridiculous, off the wall world needs to be explored more. There is another book out there “The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack” with more comics, probably out of print and a lot of money. I am glad I bought this when it came out, a lot of the books I like become worth big bucks. I hate when I miss out on something cool the first time around, the price gets insanely jacked up.

So where does one go to have Perry Bible Fellowship study? First you can go to Nick’s site which he still updates infrequently, https://pbfcomics.com/

Cheap copies can still be found used on amazon, get them while you still can: https://www.amazon.com/Colonel-Fellowship-Nicholas-Gurewitch-2007-09-03/dp/B01F81KGT0

And AMEN!!!!